


A Kind of Perfect

by Jlocked, The_Lady_of_Purpletown



Series: Perfect Boyfriends All Year Round [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, First Dates, First Meetings, M/M, Meeting at a café, Seb's friends are jerks, Sexist Jerks, knife, sexist remarks not made by main characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:48:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28223427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jlocked/pseuds/Jlocked, https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Lady_of_Purpletown/pseuds/The_Lady_of_Purpletown
Summary: Jim is sitting in a café, trying to enjoy his tea in peace.Sebastian has just come home from the war and is out with the guys.What could possibly go wrong?
Relationships: Molly Hooper & Jim Moriarty, Sebastian Moran/Jim Moriarty
Series: Perfect Boyfriends All Year Round [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067516
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	A Kind of Perfect

"Come on, Jim. It can't have been _that_ bad."

Jim sighed and shook his head slowly. "No, it wasn't bad. It was just not... not right."

"How could it not be right? He's perfect! He's gorgeous—taller than you, which I _know_ you like—and he's as... okay, _almost_ as smart as you."

"I guess."

Molly groaned. "That's the one thing you've had against every other man you've dated for years. They're never smart enough for you. So I find one, and believe me, it wasn't easy. I find one who's dazzlingly clever and, on top of that, is gorgeous with the most amazing hair that I just know you wanted to run your fingers through, don't lie to me."

"He _does_ have very nice hair," Jim conceded.

"So what's wrong with him?"

"There's nothing wrong. I told you. It was nice. He was interesting. Funny in a strange way and a little scary, but..."

"But?"

"There was no spark."

Jim picked up his mug and blew on his tea, not because it would be too hot to drink after having sat forgotten on the table while she was grilling him about his date for the past fifteen minutes, but to give him an excuse not to meet her eyes.

"Oh, Jim..." It was Molly's turn to sigh. "There's not going to be a spark. Love at first sight is just a myth to sell chocolates and..."

"That's not what I mean!" 

Seeing her reaction, he quickly reeled himself in. He knew that when he got upset, his eyes sometimes did 'something' that was kind of unsettling, and even though Molly knew him better than anyone and could never be truly scared of him, he did accidentally startle her every now and then. "Sorry. Just... I didn't expect him to be my soulmate or anything, but I was hoping to feel some kind of interest. You know, attraction?"

"How could you not be attracted to him?"

"I don't know," Jim said, trying to harness the sarcasm seeping into his voice. "Maybe I'm just broken."

"Don't say that, darling." Molly looked at her phone and jumped to her feet. "Shoot! I'm gonna be late. Please... Consider giving him another chance. Nobody should be alone at Christmas." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I'll call you tonight, okay?"

"Okay." He managed to keep the smile on his face until she had reached the door; then he sank down in his seat with a defeated whimper. She meant well. 

Molly, always taking care of her friends and bending over backwards for her family, could not seem to grasp that Jim actually valued solitude. _Especially_ around Christmas, when the lack of obligations allowed him to escape into his own little world blessedly free of seasonal songs and garish baubles. 

That's not to say that he did not, occasionally, entertain the notion that it would be nice to have somebody. A partner. A relationship. He'd been single for almost a decade. In fact, the longest relationship he'd ever maintained was the handful of miserable months he'd spent with Molly before she'd dragged him, metaphorically kicking and screaming, out of the closet he'd barricaded himself in since some rather unpleasant experiences in his teens that he'd rather not revisit.

So... Here he was. Single. Alone. At Christmas.

The bell over the door tinkled as Molly slipped out into the cool December afternoon.

"Oh my god, did you see her? Is she wearing her grandmother's jacket?"

"She must be. I mean, those were _cherries_."

"Looked pretty cold for this weather, too."

"I wouldn't mind warming her up."

"She probably wouldn't know what hit her. Doubt she's ever spread her legs for anyone, looking like that."

The large men who sat around a small round table near the entrance guffawed.

Jim huffed into his tea. Sometimes he blissfully forgot that most stereotypes were, to some extent, based in reality. It was specimens like this who gave the male gender its dismal reputation. All five of them were wearing dark bomber jackets over grey or blue hoodies. One had his hood up, two others were wearing caps, and the fourth wore _both_ , which meant that the fifth guy was the only one with his head bare. His hair was short and sun-bleached. At first, Jim thought it was fake, but the guy's tan was that vibrant bronze that no tanning booth or spray could create. So he must have spent time abroad.

The blond guy, who'd been sitting with his back to the door, turned in his chair to see what his friends were talking about, letting Jim get a look at the left side of his face, where a long, nearly healed scar ran from his temple to the corner of his mouth. Whatever gave him that must have been close to taking out his eye.

…

For all that it was a bad idea to isolate himself after his discharge, Sebastian regretted coming out to meet his old friends. There had been a time when he’d honestly enjoyed the lewd jokes and friendly scuffles, and to some extent he still did, but… It was like it was all they were made of. Like their lives were still bland enough that insulting a woman for the mere fact that she looked ‘unfuckable’ to them was the highest form of excitement.

"If you go after her, you could still make it, Dave," Grant said. 

“She’ll need a bit of convincing. Cherries or not, she didn’t look _that_ desperate,” Kevin jibed.

“Eh, I’ll convince her all right,” Dave said, raising an eyebrow. “I’ll have her do whatever I want in no time. After all, I’m an alpha male.”

"I can believe that." Though the voice was soft, it carried clearly across the room. "I would be more surprised if anyone had cleared you for beta-testing yet."

Sebastian and his friends all looked over in the direction the voice had come from, but even as his friends were frowning in confusion, Sebastian felt delight spread in his chest and he started laughing.

“What? What’s so funny?” Grant asked.

Sebastian just raised an eyebrow. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised they didn’t get the joke. Why had he ever thought this was a good idea? He should have left his memories of those guys in the past.

“Who said that?” Dave glared at the other tables, where a few people were also snickering at the joke.

“I think it was that little nerd.” Gaz pointed at the dark-haired man in his and Sebastian’s line of sight. He was nursing a cup of tea and smirking just a little too nonchalantly at the screen of his phone.

Dave got up, his chair clattering to the floor.

“Hey now, Dave,” Sebastian said. “We weren’t gonna get in any trouble tonight.”

The man calmly looked up from his tea and smiled sweetly at Dave. "Can I help you?"

“I bet you can,” Dave growled. “What did you say to me?”

"To you? Nothing." The man shrugged. "I was merely making an observation."

“Well, keep them to yourself!” Dave snapped.

“He had a point, though,” Sebastian said before he could help himself.

“What?” Dave turned to him. 

“You’re only an alpha male because you haven’t been beta-tested.” Sebastian shrugged. “It’s funny.”

“Is it?” Dave swirled around again. “That little shit is just jealous. His girlfriend left him here with blue balls, but he knows that if she could get a guy like one of us, she’d…”

"You know, she _is_ actually quite keen on charity,” the man interrupted. “You may just have a shot."

Sebastian grinned, but then quickly stood up too as he saw Dave ball his fist.

“Dave, come on, leave the guy alone.”

Dave pulled his arm back to punch, but before he could swing, there was a flurry of movement. The—thankfully cooled down—contents of the cup hit Dave in the face and the dark-haired man was suddenly crouching on the table, brandishing a small but vicious-looking knife.

"Come and get me!" he teased, grinning menacingly.

Sebastian felt his mouth fall open, but before he could give any thought to how much he must be looking like the heart-eye emoji, he shook himself and punched Dave in the face.

“What the fuck, Sebastian?” Kevin shouted.

Sebastian quickly closed the distance between himself and the guy with the knife. “Let’s get out of here.”

"Piss off," the man hissed, his snarl melting into a confused frown.

“They’re going to mangle you,” Sebastian said, as his four former friends scrambled together to form a muscled, menacing wall.

With a quick move, he slapped the knife out of the shorter guy’s hand and then put an arm around him, lifting him off his feet. He grabbed the knife from where it had fallen on the table, swung it towards Kevin and ran past them, out of the pub, still carrying the other man.

…

Jim should be furious. He was. Sort of.

But it was hard focusing on fuming while bouncing on the shoulder of a tall, surprisingly strong stranger, with an unimpeded view of how the muscles twisted and shifted in his shapely backside as he sprinted down the street.

Jim closed his eyes, took a deep breath and then punched the man's hip. "Oi! Put me down!"

"Just a moment. We're almost out of sight," the man said, his pace not even faltering for a second.

"I don't need you saving me!" Jim hit him harder. "Let me go! This is kidnapping!"

"Don’t be so dramatic," he said calmly, but he lowered Jim carefully to his feet and smiled at him. "I just figured this was the quickest way for us to get out."

"What do you care?" Jim huffed, tugging at his jacket, which had gotten twisted by the manhandling. "Weren't you with those troglodytes?"

"Yeah, but..." He shrugged and scratched the back of his neck, looking down. "Would you rather I'd left you there to take them on? I mean, I won't judge you if that's your idea of a good time, but..."

Jim snorted. "Hardly. My idea of a good time involves a significantly smaller number of people. But I'm not above getting my hands dirty if I come across a throat that needs slitting."

The man smirked. “I doubt the owner of the café would have appreciated the mess, though. And I like that place. I’d like to be able to return, once I’ve found better company.” He held out his hand. “Sebastian Moran.”

Jim eyed the hand suspiciously before giving it a quick shake. "Jim," he muttered, then for good measure added: "Your friends are jerks."

"Yeah." Sebastian sighed. "Would you like to have a drink somewhere quieter?"

"What?" Jim frowned. "A drink? With you?"

…

Sebastian could almost hit himself. What had he been thinking? Of course the dark-haired man didn't want to go for a drink with him. In his eyes, he was just one of those big lumps. He couldn't be trusted not to turn against Jim.

He forced himself to shrug. "Right. Well, be safe." He started walking away.

"Wait!" Jim sighed. "Thanks. I guess."

Sebastian stopped and looked over his shoulder. "You're welcome." The right thing would be to keep moving, but... fuck it.

He turned around again. "That girl they were insulting. _Is_ she your girlfriend?"

Jim's shoulders drew up and his eyes took on a menacing gleam. "Why? You want her number?"

Sebastian shook his head, amused by the thought of himself having that sort of interest in a woman. "No. Just... wondering if it's any use asking for yours."

"Oh, I... uhm..." Jim's entire demeanour changed and he seemed to almost shrink. "I don't... I don't give that out to people I don't know.”

“Right.” Sebastian supposed that was sensible. But the hint of sadness in Jim’s dark eyes also made it feel like a missed chance, so he dug into his pocket and fished out a pen and an old receipt.

“Just in case you change your mind…” he said, scribbling down his number, then holding the piece of paper out to Jim.

As Jim reached for it, their fingers touched and it was as if a spark went through them. Sebastian held his eyes, smirking a little.

Jim looked down as he slowly folded the note and put it in his pocket. When he glanced up again, his smile had changed from careful to... smug?

"You mentioned something about a drink?"

It took every last bit of Sebastian's self-discipline to resist pumping his fist in the air. "Let's find a nice place."

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a oneshot, so of course we are now planning to write small pieces in this universe for every holiday throughout the year. Please subscribe to the series if you’d like to read more!  
> If you know any obscure holidays in the UK that we should definitely insert in our ficlets, please let us know in the comments.  
> Thank you for reading and happy holidays!


End file.
